Please be respectful

[LERCA]

Getting very tired of reading judgmental posts. We are not all greedy capitalist drones caught on a hamster wheel of consumerism. I started living a minimalist lifestyle before any magazines about it and YouTube videos. I was a freak who didn’t have a tv, I read books.

In 1986 credit cards were just becoming available for regular people. When I graduated college in 1985 ( without any debt I worked full-time and went to school full- time and lived at home while attending a state school) there were no discount stores like Marshalls and I couldn’t get a credit card to buy an outfit for job interviews. I decided that buying just to buy was empty and that I’d need that money when I retired. God help me I didn’t know how bad my health would get beginning in my 30’s. I never earned much as a teacher and some summers didn’t have enough money for food but that was because I always put money into my retirement funds ( which have grown exponentially over 30 years) And no, I didn’t lose much in 2007-2008. I have a nice nest egg that I can use when I turn 59 1/2.

Feeling superior because you live in a van is obnoxious. I’ve always loved nature and camping but at my age with a bad back requiring surgery, a bad knee and only two and a half years from ovarian cancer this lifestyle is not fun nor is it my first choice. And for those who criticize people who stay in big cities with excellent healthcare and other services you have no idea each person’s situation. I have a lifelong disabled brother who can’t leave the state, he can’t even leave the city at risk of losing the benefits and housing he receives. I have to oversee him. At 57 I have dozens of people who I’ve developed relationships with even people like my mechanic and hairstylist etc etc who have been a tremendous support. I’ve had people at the bank, the stores, the dentist do favors for me and help me out after my accident/cancer/fire that destroyed my home. Last night one of my old neighbors gave me a $400. supermarket gift card ( which I am passing along to someone in worse shape than I am) 

So. Yeah. No. That’s 57 years of relationships that I can’t redo if I move to Kentucky or Tennessee or Mississippi just because it’s cheap. Life is more complex than that.

I’d go back to a tiny condo in a hot minute and camp for fun. I don’t enjoy peeing in a bucket and I have IBS which is a whole other topic re: cr*****g in a bucket or trying to and with a bad back too. Fun, fun, fun.

But I don’t put other people down who do enjoy it. I don’t judge anyone for the lifestyle they choose or are forced into. I know I know nothing about how or why they are where they are and I try and show kindness and compassion.

So stop with the nasty posts please. To paraphrase someone famous we are each fighting our own battles and doing the best we can. Before you write something ugly try and remember that.

 

[DLTooley]

Van life was good for my IBS. ?

 

[badmotorscooter]

Was there something in particular that motivated you to say this?

I totally agree with you. I don't take it personally, but it seems folks who are still in sticks and bricks are considered a lower class. Not everyone feels are acts this way, but it does appear to be the general sentiment here.

Since this is a van dwelling forum, perhaps there are those that think others shouldn't even be here?

With that being said, I like this forum and try to contribute.... I have met some really interesting people here.

 

[crofter]

There is a megaphone at the bottom where you can report posts to the moderator, who will help communication along in a civil way. Sorry you were made to feel bad. We  :heart: you LERCA.   ~crofter

 

[drysailor]

Getting very tired of reading judgmental posts. We are not all greedy capitalist drones caught on a hamster wheel of consumerism. I started living a minimalist lifestyle before any magazines about it and YouTube videos. I was a freak who didn’t have a tv, I read books.

Hi Lerca - the nasties aside, it sounds like you've made some progress on life. While Vandwelling might be a focus, I think there are quite a few of us here, who are in similar state of mind as you on camping vs full timing. In a way, that gives us a kind of advantage that many younger people today may never have. So aside from some occasional texts that may not have come out the way they were intended, this is still overall a great resource. Hope you don't get turned off by the incidentals.
David M.

 

[LERCA]

I posted in response to some posts directed at me and others. I believe in free speech as long as it doesn’t cross a line and get really ugly (not up for debate we all I’m sure know more or less the line) so I don’t report people. And I have to catch myself too from saying things I don’t need to say. I even got a post deleted because I had an opinion about paying one’s debts and I accepted that and try to mind my own business. No hard feelings.

Most of the people on here are incredibly welcoming and helpful and this is one of the best forums online IMO. But really there are a few people who are so judgmental without knowing or asking a person’s situation. Before you criticize, ask why. Perhaps offer to help.

Today at Sears a woman came in and started berating the cashiers. Screaming and abusing them. Then I went to Walmart and two men got into a physical fight in the parking lot. I feel society is becoming less civil, less polite, less respectful and far more judgmental instead of helpful. The way people act is recent. I didn’t see this constant bad behavior 15 years ago.

Rant over. If you read this far thank you. Again, I’ve gotten a lot more support and kindness than not on here and I appreciate that very much.

 

[Qxxx]

 I even got a post deleted because I had an opinion about paying one’s debts and I accepted that and try to mind my own business.

Don't take deletions too personally, I've had at least a couple of dozen deleted, LOL. 

Without getting into specific politics, there was a guy on NPR the other day talking about the immense polarization in our current society, and how our political beliefs seem to "define" us anymore in this society. It seems to be spilling over into every aspect of life. So if someone says something you disagree with, well that's how it is anymore about 50% of the time.

 

[cyndi]

There's a button at the bottom of the window to report offending posts. It's much preferred over starting a new thread that will only serve to feed the trolls and cause more drama

It's just that simple

 

[Rabbit]

I feel society is becoming less civil, less polite, less respectful and far more judgmental instead of helpful. The way people act is recent. I didn’t see this constant bad behavior 15 years ago.

I agree, and have thought rather a lot about the topic. There are a lot of potential underlying causes for this, and which of these are more important than which is a matter for someone a lot smarter than me to work out. But it's undeniably true, to all of our detriment. The only way available to me to fight this trend is to choose not to participate. That said...

I also live in a sticks and bricks. While I was blue-collar, I too put money away that I very much could've spent on other things and came out better-off for it in the end. I feel no guilt over this-- it's in the most basic nature of things that good choices are rewarded and bad choices punished, even in pre-monetary cultures where such choices came down to which bush's fruit not to eat or which flint to make a dependable lion-killing spearhead out of that won't fail at an awkward moment. I was first attracted to this website-- probably like many others-- by the You Tube film "Without Bounds" and then Bob's and other's relentless optimism and drive to be fully human in every way despite whatever life's thrown at them. I deeply respected such people then, and deeply respect them now. They lay at the very core of what makes America, and every other successful nation or culture, truly great. I very much want, in spirit, to be more like them, and so I suspect do many others whether they comprehend the true spiritual root of their desire or not.

Now... Not everyone living the van life is Bob or even remotely like Bob, just like not everyone who lives in a sticks and bricks is a sneering rentier capitalist pig. A lot of people end up on this forum involuntarily after having had a very rough time in life. Some of these, quite understandably, tend to be less-than-saintly in expressing their anger over this-- I've been the target of it myself. The trick, for me at least, is to remember that the over-riding reason I'm here is all about human dignity and the expression of said dignity, whether others are after the same thing or not. The best way I know of to help those who are hurting to heal is to accept the unjust (in my opinion) wounds and quietly move on. Venting anger, at least to a degree, is part of healing. So, when I have to "sit and take it" in silence either here or elsewhere in other venues, I try to picture the person on the other end as someone who's accidentally injured me while flailing about in agony from a physical wound. Because the agony is very real either way. And so is the flailing.

To come here, among so many who genuinely suffer, and expect not to be "bitten" is unrealistic, in my opinion. Instead, I'd suggest, wear your scars as badges of honor.

 

[rokguy]

It's very trendy to be vandwelling these days just look at youtube.
I can remember when this forum was originally started by an Aussie guy (vandwellers.org)
Sad really that most forums have little click groups who worship one guys words of wisdom.

All the best and don't take anything said here to heart.