People just being people, Human Nature

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Vonbrown

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2012
Messages
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Location
Home Base in Southwest USA
When I retired and chose to travel and live in a van, I figured I would meet people that think, and act like me. I found after 7 years this is not entirely true. In the beginning I was full of excitement and wanted to sincerely be involved. Then a medical emergency sidelined me. I lost confidence in me. I have difficulty with doing what was and still is my passion, machines and making them work and used those skills to help people living this lifestyle. Confidence lost in performing those skills physically. lets not forget about the body in other areas also, not even help from the little blue pill. I sank into deep depression and withdrew from social activities. I figured that some nomads live this life alone so I didnt think anyone would misunderstand. I was wrong. People seem to disregard folks that are not like them and sometimes will attack you. A couple of years ago at a caravan i preferred to be by myself only to greet people during my morning walk. a person directed anger towards me because I wasn't a "party animal" i guess and later that evening shot at my rig with a bb gun. No more caravans for me. I continue to mind my own business and live my life as it is. Please, if i don't fit your nomadic realm of thing, please mind your own business, and leave me alone. Stop trying to harm me with ashes from the fire and name calling like weirdo and such. By the way when it comes to dogs, its not the dogs I dislike, dogs do what dogs do, no pun intended. the truth is I don't like some dog owners, they impose on others, no respect for other folks camps, ect ect ect I love animals, they are the truth, but people....ugg leave me alone.
 
I just want to add to this that I believe part of this problem results from group dynamics, of which I have became pretty intolerant as a senior.

Groups can develop a negative personality, become threatened, then target and bully others who they perceive as not fitting in.

I think our personal responsibility is to not be one of those “others”, to be kind and accepting of the differences in people and cognizant of the fact that many are struggling with issues unseen.

Unless someone is a threat, let them be who they are and leave them alone.

Be kind.
 
I wish I could remember an exact quote or offer some statistics, but I know it's been said that the most intolerant people of all are those in your own in group from whom you differ just a tiny bit.
And God, loss of confidence, some people will $%^& eat you alive if you show the slightest whiff of that! which is so bleeping stupid, because how are we going to learn if we don't let in the possibility that we don't know it all already? I have seen the most whack-ignorant people walk into a situation with confidence and have everyone eating out of their hands in five minutes. I'd like to say that people like that always get found out eventually ... but lol nah. "Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug."
Shooting at you for not being sociable enough, though, that's got to win some kind of prize! ugg for real.
 
People read too many articles that only do a shallow dive and sling out words such as introvert and extrovert never realizing those define the extreme far ends of social behaviors. In between are the huge majority of humans. Anyone publicly posting on the forum is not at the extreme end of being an introvert. You will not see any actual introverts posting on social media, it’s just not their thing. So if you have labeled yourself as an introvert then you have misdiagnosed yourself. If acting like one or having people think you are one quit posting immediately before it’s too late and you begin realizing you are already socially in that region of being pretty much socially normal 😱 if you are on this social media website and posting then you are socializing 🤣
 
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People post on social media about being introverts all the time, and that is entirely appropriate. There's nothing at all "extreme" about the characteristic the word describes.
Here's a definition from a widely used dictionary:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introvert
People here sometimes call themselves hermits, too. That might not match up to the dictionary definition of the term quite as well as our use of "introvert" does, but it's a casual usage that 99.99% of everyone understands, which is also an entirely appropriate way to use the English language. You don't use the same language in formal and casual speech, and you shouldn't.
Many words in English have multiple meanings. Sometimes (like with "abortion", sorry I can't think of a less fraught example offhand) the general usage might have a totally different meaning from the technical one -- so even if there were a more technical meaning in this case, it would be a mistake to apply it to a nontechnical conversation.
Usually we figure out what's meant from the context. If not, usually the best thing to do is ask politely. And if there's no misunderstanding, usually the best thing to do is just let it go.
It is surprisingly often factually and technically wrong to say that someone else's use of language is wrong.
 
Has anyone referred to introverts or extroverts, maki2?

I’m a little confused by your post.
My reference was to your talking about people being intolerant of people who are different. People lately are categorizing people as being at extremes of social behaviors.

Much of what goes on now amounts to slinging stones using psychological behavior names at others who they perceive to be different or who they think must have the same behavior and opinions as their own to be categorized as normal. The word moderate is fading away from ever increasing attempts towards polarization.
 
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I know it's been said that the most intolerant people of all are those in your own in group from whom you differ just a tiny bit.
That kinda sounds like where I grew up, where people had strict ideas about all sorts of things... and we had to group together for things like school, church, events, etc. Peer pressure, family pressure, social pressure to conform.

I much prefer being an adult with few friends. The ones I do have I don't see that often, and we don't feel the need to agree on anything. It's more interesting to try to understand different perspectives.
 
I have no problem calling my self an introvert. I am what I am. I don't mind spending time with my friends and no I don't have a ton of friends just the few really good ones that we mostly (not always) agree on things that matter but not always the reason for the things and not often the how of the things. But I also have no problem spending time alone. I like my own company. I hate big crowds and I hate big parties. I can do them, but they suck the life out of me. I post on social media, but not often. And I don't need to get a bunch of likes or anything. I don't worry about it.

It sounds to me like Vonbrown just needs to find a different group of folks to be around. I am still in my stick and brick home and always will have one. But hope to spend more time out and about and if I end up with folks who are similar to my idea of friends great, if not Ok. But if you're ever in the area and want/need to talk I'll listen. I may not agree with you, and I may tell you to 'F#$% off' but I will listen at least I will try. I don't demand that everyone think like me. That makes for a more interesting conversation. Introvert - extrovert. Just be polite, or at least don't be an AH unless it is the last resort to get yourself away from something/someone.

I know........ to much and just my 2 cents worth
 
When I retired and chose to travel and live in a van, I figured I would meet people that think, and act like me. I found after 7 years this is not entirely true. In the beginning I was full of excitement and wanted to sincerely be involved. Then a medical emergency sidelined me. I lost confidence in me. I have difficulty with doing what was and still is my passion, machines and making them work and used those skills to help people living this lifestyle. Confidence lost in performing those skills physically. lets not forget about the body in other areas also, not even help from the little blue pill. I sank into deep depression and withdrew from social activities. I figured that some nomads live this life alone so I didnt think anyone would misunderstand. I was wrong. People seem to disregard folks that are not like them and sometimes will attack you. A couple of years ago at a caravan i preferred to be by myself only to greet people during my morning walk. a person directed anger towards me because I wasn't a "party animal" i guess and later that evening shot at my rig with a bb gun. No more caravans for me. I continue to mind my own business and live my life as it is. Please, if i don't fit your nomadic realm of thing, please mind your own business, and leave me alone. Stop trying to harm me with ashes from the fire and name calling like weirdo and such. By the way when it comes to dogs, its not the dogs I dislike, dogs do what dogs do, no pun intended. the truth is I don't like some dog owners, they impose on others, no respect for other folks camps, ect ect ect I love animals, they are the truth, but people....ugg leave me alone.
Oh l'm sorry you've had this experience. Take heart friend there are a lot of single older nomads that will not infringe on your life and are pleasant and private. I've been very lucky. I travel by myself and no one bothers me. If l see someone on a walk l smile or give a slight wave and walk on. Ive meant people over time who enjoy an occasional chat or even a rare small group to informally meet for an hour or 2 on a holiday. I stay away from social butterflys. I like to be around people who also stay in their van and no one bothers each other. No caravan for me either. There are lovely ppl out there just like you . I have no problem saying to someone that l prefer to usually spend time alone . If it sends them in a huff l know that's a good sign for me to pack up and drive away...they are not to be trusted.
 

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