Old drunken limericks from English Pubs.

[JD GUMBEE]

All ye of old stock. Bring forth yer rhymes and limericks from long ago.
(They need not be born in European pubs, either.)

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Twas a night in September and well I remember
I strolled down the road in drunken pride.

My mind was all a flutter, as I laid down in the gutter
and a pig walked up and laid down by my side.

Now two ladies they were walking and together they were talking
and to one I heard the other one say:

"You can tell a man who boozes...by the company he chooses"
...and the pig got up and slowly walked away.

 

[lenny flank]

Not old and not irish, but being a sciencey nerd, my favorite limerick has always been:

There was a young lady named Bright
Who could travel much faster than light.
She set off one day
In a relative way
And came back the previous night.

 

[Weight]

I,Yi,Yi,Yi,
your mother swims after troop ships
so sing me another verse
worse than the other verse
and waltz me around again, willy

(insert limerick here)

 

[johnny b]

There once was a bloke name of Sweeney,
who somehow spilt gin on his weenie.
So just to be couth,
he added vermouth,
then slipped his date a martini.