Life has Forced us to change OUR plans :-(

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B and C

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2014
Messages
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Location
Atascocita, TX
We have always traveled and the plan was to keep traveling, just slower.  

While I was getting everything ready to retire on Jan. 4th of 2016, my DW was diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Dementia.  This means she has problems with processing new information so she gets confused easily.  Her memory is fine for stuff in the past.  The frontal lobe processes new information and moves it to memory. She is only 59 and I am 67.  The diagnosis was in November of 2015.  I did not spot it soon enough or I would have retired sooner (kick's self in ass).  It has been getting worse since about the first of 2014 as I look back and started well before that when I really look further back.  I should have recognized something was amiss (kick's self in ass again).  So get out there and enjoy life while you can before life throw's you a curve ball.

Some of this has been covered in past posts so please bear with me.  I am NOT looking for sympathy.  I just wanted someplace to vent and let some of you know what is happening to us on this end (in case you were wondering).

We made the 2016 RTR and had a good time even though neither of us does well in a large crowd so we mostly stayed to ourselves as the RTR was much larger than last year (I don't know how Bob does it). We also met a couple of nice people there :)  We moseyed over to Joshua Tree NP after staying in Ehrenberg for a few days. We were camped just outside the South entrance when we got a phone call from my sister that my mother had a stroke and was in the hospital.  We packed up and headed back for what was sure to be a funeral and it was.  We went to Georgia to see my sister and BIL afterwards.  During this visit, all of us went to Florida to see our oldest brother who could not attend the funeral.  While we were in Florida, we took a float plane ride :D  DW had never been in a small plane before so it was a real treat to her (and me too as I have never been on a float plane).  We all went back to Georgia for a few days and then I grew restless.  Back to Texas we head.

So we re-launch a couple of weeks later and go to Cottonwood AZ stopping in Tucson AZ to have lunch with my cousin and aunt.  The wind blew (did it ever) and we got some rain in there too.  After we were there for a while, we met up with a group from here!  We went to Sedona and took a Hot Air Balloon ride.  We took the Geo over Schnebly pass near Sedona :D   The morning we were going down to help James with his engine, we got a call from DW's cousin that her other cousin had passed away.  We put the Geo in storage so we wouldn't have to tow it round trip.  Back we race to Texas, again :dodgy:  A friend told me we should start a shuttle service as we are back and forth so much.

At this point there are two strikes against us and we once again re-re-launch.  We made it up to just South of Pagosa Springs where we found a nice camping spot by a creek and hidden from the road (not a busy road).  We woke up the next morning to snow covering everything :)  It was about 35 degrees so it would not be staying around long.  Then it sleeted later that day and still above freezing.  The only problem with this campsite was there was not a Verizon signal.  When we got up the next morning, DW asked me to take her home, to our son's house where she had been staying while I got everything ready to leave for this trip.  We have only been gone about 5 days.  So we pack up, drive to Cottonwood where the Geo was stored.  Hitched up the Geo and headed back to Texas.  Two day later we were back here.  Strike three.

DW will not be traveling with me anymore :( :(  The constant changing is too much for her :( She needs a stable environment now.  

We have all decided to sell our S&B here in Hempstead and all proceeds will be used to buy son and DIL a bigger house. The good news is we already have a buyer lined up, no realtor.  We may have to kick in some more additional funds to get what is needed in a bigger house.  There are already six in the household and all bedrooms are full.  We will be looking for a house 5+ bedrooms, the + being a room that can be converted to a bedroom or already has a 6th bedroom.  DW will stay with them while I do some solo traveling.  We will also probably end up on some frequent flyer list.  We figured she could fly out to meet me sometimes (we'll have to get help from the airlines getting her through the terminal).  I can also park the van and fly home for visits too.  I really dislike flying commercial these days.  We haven't flown commercially since about 2002 or so.  Ever since the TSA has made it such a hassle getting to the plane and as smokers (the last legal group to be discriminated against) not being able to smoke anywhere from when you arrive at the airport until you depart the airport on the other end (arrive two hours before your plane departs).  My motto since then has been if I can't drive to where I want to go, I ain't going!  All things change and I will just have to put up with the loooong waits ahead of boarding....

I know it may sound funny to some, but what I would really like to do is sell the house, contents and all, as is.  Of course the most important things like picture would go with us.  Just walk away from it.  No need to go through everything to sort out what must be kept, sold, given away or thrown out, but son and DIL want a lot of the stuff we have and no place to put it until a bigger house can be had.  So storage will have to be rented, things moved, sold, given away and thrown out.  I am finding I don't have the energy to go through all of the stuff, however much I don't want it anymore which just makes it worse.  I am just plain tired and want to get away from it all...

So here we sit, slowly going through stuff.  Damn, we have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years.  We have gone through most of the clothes and made three piles, keep, donate, throw away.  Going through my computer stuff is hard too.  I am moving two servers (one for them and one for me) and three desktop computers to son's house.  Two desktop computers will be for the grandkids and one for me when I return that has been recording some shows I like.  Two laptops and a desktop will travel with me.  I know I still have too much computer stuff but it has been a hobby since DOS 3.2. I have thrown away two trash cans full of hardware and software, still more to go through.  I don't like that Microsoft has ended support for Windows Media Center.  I'll stay with Win 7 until support stops.  Maybe someone will take over WMC by then.  I am just rambling now.

Have a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend and thanks to ALL the veterans!

Thanks for letting me vent :)

I will be at the Summer RTR in Flagstaff if God's willin' and the creek don't rise, much higher :)

Brian

P.S.  I have an HP DS380 rack mount server that I was going to play with when we were home during the Winter.  Not happening now.  If anyone is in my area (Hempstead, TX) or is going to be at the Summer RTR, I will give it to you.  It has an evaluation copy of Server 2012 on it and loaded with 8 - 146 GB 10k SAS hard drives with an additional 8 spares.  It is yours for the asking.  Congratulations on making it through this loooong post!
 
Brian, thanks for sharing your journey with us. There are some valuable lessons.

Please stop kicking yourself in the ass. Dementia is so easy to miss and explain away. It's happened twice in our family. You'd have thought we might have learned something the first time around.

I love that you're hopeful for the future. Your offer of the rack mount server is very generous!

Sending good mojo and positive vibes your way!
 
Hang in there Brian. Life indeed is filled with valuable lessons some pleasant and others not so. It is up to us to have the awareness absorbing them and do our best bringing up to the surface the positive aspects and at the same time share those with others as you did. We so easily lose sight of the present gifts we are daily faced with. The road is indeed a healer. When my only child passed away 12 years ago at the tender age of 26 I was an angry man for 2 years. I then left everything behind, rescued Spirit and hit the road full-time camping in a tent with a motorcycle and sidecar (8 years later we are in a small camper now six months out of the year). The waves will never stop, we just have to learn how to surf better. Hopefully will see you in / near Flagstaff.
 
Thanks for the update, Brian. 

As someone knocked down by health, I can completely understand the frustration.  
 
Do what you need to do, brother, and remember that you have the tribe available for support.  Of all the people I have met on the road, you and your DW are some of the ones I will be missing the most. If you need someone to talk to, I am as close as the phone or net. 

Here in Missouri, there is a crazy past time called auctions.  Everything in a house is put under the hammer, and is gone in a couple days.  You might just want to clean out what is wanted, and hire a company to sell the rest. People pay big dollars for junk! Old computer systems are popular. 

John and Tigger
 
Hey Brian ! Good to hear from you again !
Life is throwing some hard stuff your way but you seem to be coping very well.
Glad to hear you're going to still stay mobile . This life is a great thing to be addicted to !
Travel heals our souls........

The auction that Got mentioned sounds like a great way to unload without having to do all the work yourself.
Kudos for offering that server to the tribe too !
 
Thanks everyone for your kind words.

@ beemerchief - I cannot imagine burying a child.  Best wishes for you too.

After the son and DIL get what they want, it will only be junk left.  Unfortunately, junk that is not worth anything.  An auction sounds great, but here in this small poor town, it would be fruitless and frankly not worth the effort.  I want to get out of here the easiest way possible and if that means giving away stuff, so be it.  Anything left that is worth a hoot will be sitting at the curb.  Stuff disappears pretty quickly that way.  Everything else will be trash.

The server too will be put to the curb if no one claims it.

Thanks again.
 
Well, I don't know what to say. A lot of that, the dementia and moving, just sucks. Hopefully once the transition is done, you can relax and enjoy time traveling and time with your wife and family. But wow. Plans. Life has a way of screwing them up for us. :(
 
Research cooking with coconut oil. I have an old buddy I have dinner with and shoot pool. He was constantly asking me what balls he was shooting during every game, (stripes or solids). I bought a few jars of coconut oil, and gave him one. lately he remembers much better what happened just a few minutes ago. http://www.alzheimers.net/2013-05-29/coconut-oil-for-alzheimers/
I generally don't put much faith in supplements. If you ate every supplement that was supposed to help you, there would be no room for food. My observation is it works. Why not use it if it tastes great anyway?
It looks like it is pricey, but a little goes a long way, so it is not really a bad deal. It almost acts like teflon with eggs. Pan cleans super easy. I like the taste as well. At room temp it looks like lard. Less than a teaspoon in a pan is plenty.
My best wishes are with you.
 
Brian, I just wanted to jump in and say I'm thinking and praying for you. My dad and an uncle have dementia so I can relate. Hopefully like with my dad it will progress slowly and you can enjoy many more years together. I also do most of my traveling alone, as it's just not my wife's thing. For us it actually seems to work well as we get a break from each other but can still be together and love and support each other. I can so relate to not wanting to deal with the stuff accumulated over years of being together and raising kids - I never intended to have so much stuff own me and my time and energy!
 
my father in law died of dementia, I am sorry to hear your wife is suffering from it
Hopefully it progresses slowly
 
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