I'm freaking out about actually leaving!!!

[TucsonAZ]

As the date gets closer to me leaving (by the end of the month) I'm starting to freak out more and more. This project is functional but not finished, I have put in a ton of time, research and effort but so many things still aren't done. What if I'm too hot to sleep, what if I can't find a place to park, break down, have to go a week without a warm shower, need a tool I left at home, have my home broken into (the one I leave behind or the one I take with).

We all have a desire to stay comfortable, even if change is what we truly need, I truly need change but the idea of leaving my stuff, my comfort zone, it's freaking me out!!!

I'm obsessing on these little details I'm fully aware won't matter once I'm on my way, I know in a couple months I will have the same freakout in reverse of not wanting to come back but that makes this no more comfortable for the moment.

I'm freaking out, I know I can handle whatever comes my way but I'm freaking out still, I know it's normal but still, I'M FREAKING OUT!!!

 

[Patrick46]

I can tell just from that one post, that you're putting too much energy into this, without enough feedback.

I'd strongly suggest going for a good weekend-long shakedown trip.

That'll help put things into perspective on how this all is gonna feel, and give you a good idea of how well your plans are gonna work for you.

and that should calm your nerves too!

Enjoy!! Have a fun weekend!

 

[cyndi]

We've all been there, Tucson. Most of us have had the freakout. Some of us, I'm in this group, freakout every time we move. After all, anything can and will happen.

Just keep moving forward. You said it yourself. You'll be fine.

 

[akrvbob]

What you are feeling is totally normal and reasonable. I know I wouldn't have had the balls to do it if I wasn't forced into it so I admire all of you who did it by choice and just pushed through the freak-out stage!!!!

I can't promise you anything because we are all so different, but I can tell you for myself that I look back on it as the single BEST thing that ever happened to me!! My life has improved far beyond my ability to tell you!!

I can also tell you that I have met literally hundreds of others who say the exact same thing.

Here's the way I would look at it: One of two things is going to happen:

1) You will love it and enter into the very best times of your life.
2) I may not be for you but one day you will look back at it as one of the great adventures of your life even though it didn't work out--and it will become your most treasured memory.

Either way, you win!

You may want to check out this blog post I wrote:
http://www.cheaprvliving.com/blog/craving-adventure-novelty-gene/

Science had discovered many of us have a gene that seeks out new things and adventures. But society brainwashes us out of it so we will never be happy till we give into the our urges. I think that's right where you are! To thine on self be true! Give in to those itchy feet!
Bob

 

[Sameer]

Patrick46 is correct! Make a 'weekend trip' to check things out. That is what worked for me! After I finished my first remodel I went camping just 28 miles away from my 'home base'. It is the most remarkable lifestyle..."you will love it!", as Bob says.

 

[WheelEstate USA]

Once you get out of Tucson and up into the cooler pine forests you'll be just fine.
I agree with the weekend trip idea tho. Mt Lemmon is nice this time of the year.

 

[rvwandering]

You'll be fine - but don't forget to come back and tell us how you're doing after a week or so.

 

[TucsonAZ]

Thank you all for the kind words, I know I'm worried about things now I won't care at all about ones I step out of my safety net. The past 24 hours has allowed me to finish up on some stuff that make my new home actually start to feel like a home and that has helped some, for the first time since December this has gone from being something I know I want to do to something I'm excited about doing. Maybe some of you have seen, I have MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) which has made for many challenges in this process and I have some needs that are harder to accommodate with this lifestyle what has caused me to try and control too much when I really need to just let go.

My motto is and has always been "anything worth doing is worth doing in excess", I'm not taking a test trip that allows for failure or me to run back for comfort, if you're going to jump off a cliff, just do it, no point in starting with a curb.

Thank you all for the support, I will keep you posted!!!!

 

[katelyn]

I was just having a freak out session last night myself lol!!! I completely understand your worries, break downs, showers, the heat, the cold, not enough savings..yada yada...

Then I thought. What the heck? I'll have all my fluids flushed and changed, new tires, tune up, and enough gear to make living comfortable. If something goes wrong I'll have to just roll with it.

I definitely like your motto about jumping off a cliff, that's my plan! I've camped enough times and figured I'd better just go for it!

Good luck and happy travels

 

[Patrick46]

Katelyn has the right idea...

I'll have all my fluids flushed and changed, new tires, tune up, and enough gear to make living comfortable. If something goes wrong I'll have to just roll with it.

Once you've got your rig all mechanically squared away, there's not much more you can do.

Head on out, and enjoy this new life!

 

[SternWake]

April 14, 1998. 11:00 PM

I was lying on my camping mattress in my completely empty 2 bedroom apartment. Next to me was my Luggage. In that Luggage, airline tickets taking me around the world. I was to leave the next morning.

I was freaking out. Full blown anxiety attack. I'd sold, given away, or put in storage all my possessions in the previous 3 months. Friends had a going away party for me. I'd made a video will as I suspected there was a good possibility I would never return.

Well I got over my panic attack.
Travelling the world was by far the best thing I ever did with my life.

But I was right, that guy who left, never did return.

Now I look back at that original panic attack as the threshold. If I never crossed it, If I pansied out, all those wonderful experiences would never have happened.

 

[Patrick46]

I'd love to hear about somma your travel stories, SW!! ^^^

 

[TucsonAZ]

I have been wanting to go down this path for a long time if not forever, I've been planning it and evolving that plan since December, thousands of hours of research, $6,000 in cash, hundreds of hours of hard work, fabricating, grinding, making things. The effort is because I know what I want, I know what it will take, I won't back out and know which side of this internal battle will win simply because I choose to feed it more. That of course makes this no less real and the fear of the fall is typically far worse than the actually fall, I know for certain that's the case here.

It's like having a damn kid, there is no amount of preperation that's going to make you feel "ready" for it.

 

[storm6398]

I am in the freak out stage right now too. Just sold my car, have been posting my stuff to Craigslist, and have given myself two weeks to get it done. I am trying hard not to be paralyzed by "what if" . All the posts are encouraging so Thank You!

 

[akrvbob]

Just remember that what you are feeling is normal and to be expected. You are taking a huge leap off the edge into the unknown and so fear is totally normal. Just know that many of us have leaped before you and are all very glad we did.

Don't let anything stand between you and your dreams!
Bob

 

[Starlight]

I heard a story once on the radio: (from memory)

There were two brothers. One brother wanted to explore the world and the other brother opted to take a steady job, buy a house, and live like everyone else he knew.
Well... according to the story...
the guy who opted to play it safe ended up slipping in the shower and getting brain damage.
The guy who opted to take the risk of traveling the world... ran across a business opportunity in an undeveloped country and made a million dollars.
__________

When I left Oklahoma in June -- I really wasn't ready. I had done part of the work of organizing my van, but... was anxious to leave and decided I'd do it when I got somewhere. I just loaded it up and WENT. When I got where I was going, I had a thrift store to drop off my "over-loads" -- and I also found a lot of what I needed at the same thrift store. Other things have waited until my budget can fit them in... but... what they hey... I've got the time, and can work at my own pace -- while I enjoy the mountains.

There are always good people -- no matter where you may go -- and ways to resolve the problems that may happen. Problems... may just mean ADVENTURE !!! (There are some adventurous people who take off traveling with little or nothing -- just to find adventure).

The best advice I got before leaving was from my son... "Don't wait until you're low on gas to fill up." -- As it happens, I almost found myself stranded because I thought I'd find a gas station "down the road a-piece" -- but being Sunday... no such luck. At this tiny town, I met a few local people and discovered there was a private gas pump... and someone let me get gas there. All's well that end's well, I guess. But... never again will I "wait until the next little town" for gas.

Good luck -- !!!
Also -- You said you were chemically sensitive -- I just picked up a book called "Tired or Toxic" which is a great resource for exposure to toxic chemical -- and de-toxifying. This doctor went on a de-tox that lasted two years. Today I was researching carpets and plastic bottles because of what I had read. But... it's amazing how our bodies can do this de-tox if we keep from over-loading our systems.

 

[caseyc]

I too freaked. In my case, I gave myself an extended period of time of several months to freak out as I was debating the issue. Finally, when it came time to do or die, I came to the decision of giving my landlord my 30 days notice. That's when I really panicked, haha! I'm now several months into this new life style and surviving fine. Still alive and kicking! I don't miss writing rent checks to the landlord.

 

[Iggy]

I too freaked. In my case, I gave myself an extended period of time of several months to freak out as I was debating the issue. Finally, when it came time to do or die, I came to the decision of giving my landlord my 30 days notice. That's when I really panicked, haha! I'm now several months into this new life style and surviving fine. Still alive and kicking! I don't miss writing rent checks to the landlord.

Ditto! I did some trial runs and went full time in March. Twice, people tried to break into my van at night, had some mechanical issues, and it took time getting a feel for where to stealth park. But I'm getting more comfortable with this lifestyle all the time. The stress has mostly went away. Amazing how resilient an old man can be! lol (Is 52 old?)

 

[caseyc]

Did intruders try to break in while you were inside?

Ditto! I did some trial runs and went full time in March. Twice, people tried to break into my van at night, had some mechanical issues, and it took time getting a feel for where to stealth park. But I'm getting more comfortable with this lifestyle all the time. The stress has mostly went away. Amazing how resilient an old man can be! lol (Is 52 old?)

 

[Iggy]

Yup. Once I drove off and once I set off my alarm. Both times I was parked in sketchy neighborhoods.