Women Only Gonna take a chance and talk about the awful depression

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G0ldengirl68

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..still having when I thought it had lifted a lot when I had gotten on a low-carb way of eating.  There are lots of changes, good ones for sure, but I still have times I am so down I fear I won't get back up again.  Like now.  Seems my mornings are usually so good, get things done, do errands, laundry, talk to people online, then 3 ish in the afternoon hits.  Sometimes I'll get out and take a walk, and with Mimmie the dog, I do get out 5 times a day, but when her and I head back for our door I think she feel as down as I do.  We don't want to go back in but we have to do dinner, and then the rest of the evening is the same.  Watch some Roku TV, or some of my DVD series like Murder She Wrote, or Goldengirls.  Sometime lately I get interested in something on my "dream-site" CRVL, and the time passes so fast and it's bedtime and a book.  Next day same thing.

I'm just rambling away here, but I don't know what to do with myself.  I don't really have any productive hobbies like knitting, or sewing, and besides that, I can't stick with one thing.  I get these big ideas like I'll write a book, never happens, or I'll take up sewing my own clothes, never happens.  The only thing I seem good at is surviving.  I did really good learning about Type 2 Diabetes and beating it so far without medicine.  No meds is mainly because any script I've been given, including anti-depressants at times past, made me have worse headaches, worse tremors or some other side-effect.

I guess why I posted this was to ask what might be a stupid question.   But I wonder if any other women out there were like me in any of these ways, and felt a lot better once they got out of living in an apt. or home in one place with lots of "stuff" that really meant nothing to them.  It hasn't brought me happiness, and I am always searching for it.  Maybe just contentment, happiness is fleeting and for me, depends a lot on things happening in my life.  Nothing's happening in my life anymore, and I'm not looking forward to anything.

I'm sorry if this is maybe inappropriate, but I really have no one to really talk to except myself.  I have to take a lot of responsibility for that too, don't blame anyone else, I truly don't.  I'm too smart to think it's all about other people in my life.

I'm mesmerized by women getting "out there" all kinds of women from all kinds of backgrounds, and I so want to be one of them.  I guess I think it would truly be a better life, but I could be wrong too, and there lies the fear of yet another failure. Denise

PS Now I'm trying to decide if I should hit the "post thread".  What have I got to lose, my pride, nah, that would be a good thing.  Reminds me of how I didn't have a problem with wearing a mask because I feel like I've worn one most of my life ;)
 
DO NOT GIVE UP. I'm with you, keep searching for the right combo of meds or the right Doc. Your reference to wearing a mask is not lost on me. Depression hurts.
 
Please remember 'We' are at war with an enemy that knows our deepest, darkest secrets. To attack our weaknesses and avoid our strengths.  Everyday I, 'We' start start the battle all over again with someone we know. Us. Me.
 
I really believe I was happier when I was struggling through life.  Now that I have that place of my very own, I see how it wasn't what I thought it would be.  I need to be working again doing something, and when I got into thinking about RVing I realized I would be constantly have to work through each day, not have it all handed to me.  I've seen movies like an oldy called The Golden Earring about a gypsy lady and a guy that was I think somebody working for the government, a spy.  They fall in love, and he gives up the "good" life.  I love that movie and I know that's just a movie.
 
Denise. I’ve met many, many women that struggle with depression. I’m not so immune myself. Every one I’ve met feels much better on the road busy. They end up with lots of friends and adventures. There is also a virtual support group that has weekly meeting online for those nomads who suffer with depression. I’ll have to find the link and will post it here as soon as I do.
 
I feel that would be true for me too Cammalu,  just being outdoors and seeing others moving around too would be so great!  Here so many hardly come out of their apartments.  I don't come out that much myself, and especially since covid, but one of things I like is one of my window in the living room looks out over the garden court and walkways so I see people once in awhile.

That group link would be great to have and I would definitely join in, thank you so much, Denise PS Oh you posted it, thanks again, I'll bookmark it ;)
 
I can suffer from mild chronic depresion. But one day in 2001 I was at the grocery store check out counter waiting for my turn and saw a cover on one of the women's magazines giving a list of symptoms saying there is a simple fix. I had everyone of those symptoms so I put the magazine in my cart. I went to t he drug store and got the mineral supplement the article recommended and then next morning to my incredible surprise I woke up cheerful and happy. It really works, motther nature's miracle antidepressant miracle. Cost little, no prescription required.

The mineral supplement is Chromium Picolonate. The doseage is 1,000mcg a day. You can buy it at Walgreens in that dosage. It is often on a buy one get the second for half price deal.

One important thing to know... do not take it if you are on medication for diabetes without talking to your doctor about it. Chromium does help regulate your blood sugar levels which is one of several reasons it helps with depression.
 
These are depressing times, so it is natural to feel that way. After covid numbers are getting better, people are back to work or job hunting and guess what, the middle east is back to blowing each other up.

When I feel low I spend some time in nature, even a short walk and appreciating what is outside, being in the moment. 

Or another thing I do is work on a project. I have some long projects and some shorter ones. Usually a shorter one is better to boost my good vibes. Yesterday I mounted a light. So now I can feel the good vibes that I did that. Or doing a chore that you have put off doing, same thing.

The other thing I do is to avoid negative people, especially when I am low. You don't need to hear a rant and can always excuse yourself with "Oh I left something on! Gotta go."

You will know if somethings up and you need a doc and pills. Please get professional help for SERIOUS stuff, there are many awesome counselors out there just a phone call away.
-crofter
 
I believe your depression will likely follow you onto the road, and you will continue to experience it unless and until you manage it better.

The required activities of daily living in road life are greater than those in a stationary residence, which can serve as a distraction that keeps our mind off of whatever.

But, the issues remain and will resurface until managed effectively.

I suggest talking with your doctor about an antidepressant, also a therapist.

It’s a quality of life thing, IMO.

You deserve better, but like most things it will not fix itself nor just go away if you try to stay busy enough.

In my experience.

Good luck to you.
 
I suffer from depression and it's bad. But, it's much more manageable out on the road. I no longer take meds. If nothing else I can change my view. That always helps
 
Do you own a van or little camper or even got a tent? Are you able to get out and leave for a few days to tent camp or car camp at least? You need out and about. Change of scenery. You are in THAT RUT and only you can pull yourself out of it. I don't even think knitting AT HOME is what you need. Not even that type of hobby. You need to move, see new things, interact a bit with some new people every now and then.....you sound very isolated. I would check into groups from say church, or a local town walking group that meets up or get a bike and get out or car camp at a local campground. You need out and about.

I truly get you that without a 'purpose' we tend to flounder but you don't need a full on purpose, you need getting out of that after 3 rut stuck in an apt. Find ways to do just that....or a few days away car camping with your dog :)

Yes we all fall into that type of big rut. You see it, you know it, you feel it and NOW YOU can change it.....get up that nerve and change that after 3 daily pattern! You can do it and find something that suits you that is different and engaging a bit and from there, a little step to find something to suit you like a walking group that meets up or getting away a few days on a trip, taking the night to prep/prepare/research where you are going will add some zest into your life. But yes, I know that feeling, I have been there for sure....you will be OK if you take some actions to change up your life and it sounds like you are ready to go there :)

You sound like the type that needs to move, that little bit of 'what ifs' in your day to keep you guessing and acting....I am like that. I can't sit for long. I am a mover type person and when I get sucked into that boring daily routine I flounder also....so my rv is an escape to move move move and see new things and I use it alot for that purpose, to keep me engaged and doing something different. So yea, you need to move and do some 'new' things outside of that apt. Maybe even a very small part time easy job that is from like 4 to 9 at night to get you out of the house....believe me you need that interaction of something, anything or you can go batsh** crazy a bit :) If you are like me, yea that boring daily routine is gonna take ya down. Make a plan and flip up those days for yourself any way you can. Doesn't matter if ya aren't that keen on trying something, just do it, could lead you down a path to finding something you really like alot more....new adventures can lead to new discoveries you never thought you might be interested in!

wishing you the best!!! :) Let us know how you are coming along!! Sending great vibes!!
 
I read your other post asking about some meetups in your area. THAT is fab cause it shows you need out and about but one thing is you are waiting on others to respond to you and that is ok, but can not be your basis for getting out.

research a local campsite park near you with some activity, like bird watching for the day or some other draw into that park where you can engage.

it is great to try to find others and I truly get that but it might not go down easily for you to 'find some others' that are in your area to respond.................so you do you.............find a local spot you and your little dog can explore and car camp, tent camp, whatever you have to you and GO......just do it! Just 2 days if that is all you can handle and try that and find new adventures YOU set up for YOU. by you to change up your days and this will give you truly a new state of confidence to engage in life on your terms ya know.

again sending you the best of the best wishes and hope you find you thru all this!
 
When reading your post it sounded as if I had wrote it about myself. I seem the happiest while on a project or working a job. I seem to thrive in a team atmosphere. I'm not happy just hanging out with people. I don't think I'm depressed , I just need to feel needed and productive. Maybe that's just the way we are.
 
maki2 said:
One important thing to know... do not take it if you are on medication for diabetes without talking to your doctor about it. Chromium does help regulate your blood sugar levels which is one of several reasons it helps with depression.
Looks like I forgot to go through the "subscribe" process and didn't know I had more messages here ;(  apologies gals.

Might work for me too Maki, I'm taking my Bs, magnesium and potassium supplements, but hadn't heard of that one.  Worth a try for sure :)  I don't have to do Metformin for my T2 as I was fortunate enough to regulate my diet.  I do a **** diet, and it's worked wonderfully so far. Thanks so much for the info, Denise
 
crofter said:
You will know if somethings up and you need a doc and pills. Please get professional help for SERIOUS stuff, there are many awesome counselors out there just a phone call away.
-crofter
Thanks to you as well,  I'm doing much better these last, few days.  I am doing things again, I never really stopped, but I hate that wave of depression that seems to always be there unless I am busy.  So yes, I stay pretty busy, love my walks, even here in this small area.  I am planning some things for my truck (going to go ahead and get the help that was offered) and in a couple of weeks, I'll have the topper back on, and possibly the bed, and shelf in it.  I'll take a camping trip (in my tent) to have the work done on the inside of topper.  Something to look forward to helps me a lot.  My nutrition changes has made a big difference in the length of time the depression lasts.  It's pretty fleeting now, well, since January.

Thanks again for your help ;) Denise
 
WanderingRose said:
In my experience.

Good luck to you.
I agree that it won't magically disappear, quick-fixes never work in the long run for me anyway.  I was just saying to another person that I am so much better since I've gotten into better nutrition (for me anyway).  My depression is short-lived, and I don't get to the point where I am disabled by it.  I still keep doing things, and that's always what pops me out of it.  Thanks for your input, I do appreciate it.  

Even after my truck is ready to stay in I'm only going out to a few campgrounds to start with, just see how I really feel just camping again.  I am keeping in mind all the advice I've gotten, not poo pooing anything because it may be down the road I need to try anti-depressants.
 
vandella said:
I suffer from depression and it's bad. But, it's much more manageable out on the road. I no longer take meds. If nothing else I can change my view. That always helps
I rarely got any sort of depression, or anxiety when I was traveling for jobs since I was in my 20s.  I feel the same about changing my "view", seeing what's over the next hill ;)  My dad was that way all his life, so maybe I inherited that.  Never saw him again after I was about 6th grade, but I met some 1/2 brothers and sisters when I was in my 50s and learned a lot about him.

I feel stagnate where I am, and that's just me, no one else's fault but I want to get out and go while I still can, as long as I can.  I was so happy when I didn't "have" to get a job after trying so hard.  All I could get after around 50 years old were warehouse jobs, even with all my skills with computers, and as an Admin Assistant I still couldn't find one, had to do harder labor and messed up my hands.  But luckily I can still use them
Can't blame anyone one for that either since I was never stable, always moving on.  Temp jobs only, save money, move on, that's all I wanted to do.

Now I have a decent amount (for me, I "want" little, travel light) to live on, and don't have to wonder where my next paycheck will come from.  I figure if/when I get so old I need a home, I can move back into HUD housing.  I have excellent credit and rental history.  That concerns me living on the road.  I wonder how landlords look at that even with my past rental history??  Hmm, I feel another topic coming on, LOL!! Denise
 
RoamerRV428 said:
wishing you the best!!! :)  Let us know how you are coming along!!  Sending great vibes!!
Boy did you hit the nails on the head, every one of them ;)  It's like you know me, lol!!  I can't agree more with everything you said Roamer and it was so good to hear ;)  I am working on it believe me, right this minute.  Getting ready to have my topper put back on, then, go to Pirate Camp and let abnorm fix the bed of my truck to make it liveable, and planning a campout up the Rogue River to meet friends from highschool.  There's a good start!!  I sure hope to meet you all here at some point as well.  I'm going over to the Zoom meeting at 9 this a.m.  Denise
 
hicks said:
When reading your post it sounded as if I had wrote it about myself. I seem the happiest while on a project or working a job.  I seem to thrive in a team atmosphere. I'm not happy just hanging out with people. I don't think I'm depressed , I just need to feel needed and productive. Maybe  that's just the way we are.
Yes, I agree, I'm almost convinced it isn't depression as much as just knowing I am so unproductive lately ;)  I am fulfilled when I do the little chores, or help someone with something around here, but I do need to move on and see some sights, I miss it so much.  And the struggle was good in that it that I didn't have time to be down, lol!!  I saw an awesome video by a guy in his 60s, that talks about staying busy doing the things he loves.  Of course surfing was not on my bucket list, lol, never was, but his philosophy was true for me.  We can't give up because of a number (our age) ;)  Thanks so much hicks!!
 
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